Forget it.

Evidently I'm becoming a rebel.  I say this, because today alone, the third day of the week, I was chewed out three times by administrative figures at my school for not following protocol.

The first time, I was chewed out because I had a student that was being extremely disruptive in the classroom, and I tried to follow protocol with him.  Protocol dictates that I call the office to send me a security officer to escort the student to the counseling center.  The problem with this is that about 50-70% of the time, the security officer never actually shows up.  So then I still end up with having to deal with the heinous situation that is my classroom, with the disruptive student now empowered knowing that I can't do anything with him:  I can't send him out because I don't have an escort to take him out and he can now do whatever the heck he wants in the classroom because he's already been "sent out".  So for the sake of the learning of the majority of my students, I literally grab the student, kick him out of my class (without an escort *gasp*) and get back with my lesson.  Peace.  Until the administration comes and chews me out for not following protocol, something that they've been getting much, much, much more strict on lately.  And to be totally honest, I applaud their efforts, because I think it's the first step towards getting our school on track.  However, when my attempts to follow protocol aren't met with the response that is demanded, I do what it takes to get my job done, which is educate my students - to hell with the protocol.

The second time occurred after I had failed to get my attendance turned in. The protocol with attendance changes on a daily basis, and today, the protocol was to put the attendance in an envelope on the inside of the door in my classroom, and security is supposed to come by every period and pick it up.  They came after first period, and never again for the rest of the day.  Now, I have my normal math class, which takes place in my classroom, but then I have my other classes which take place in the computer labs at the school.  So, come 7th period, I'm in the computer lab of the school, and our attendance office comes to the lab to pick up my attendance.  Our dialog goes something like this:

Attendance:  "Do you have your attendance?"

Me:  "Yeah, here it is." (I give him 7th period attendance)

Att. "Where is the attendance from your other periods?"

Me:  "I don't have it here..."

Att.  (Look of enormous frustration and distaste on his face) "Come on man!  You need to have your attendance with you, we've been talking about this for weeks, and you always have a problem with this!  You never have it with you - so where is it?"

Me:  "It's in the envelope back in my room, by the door.  It hasn't been picked up since first period."

Att.  "...Well, I don't have a key to your room.  Go get it."

I can't win here.  I just can't win.

And the third time, oh this was by far the best of the day.  So, for the most part, protocols in general at my school follow the basic rule of the weather in Venezuela.  Don't like it?  Wait about 10 minutes, it'll change.

Yesterday at the staff meeting, we talked about what to do with students in the hallways during lunch.  We came to the conclusion that there are to be NO students in the hallway at lunch, period.  I'd say this was new, but it's not - that's been the policy since I started working there.  We can let them think it's new policy though.  Anyhow, due to this policy, if I have students who come talk to me about wanting to come to my classroom and work during lunch, I will go down to the lunchroom, let them grab their lunch, and then bring them with me to my classroom.  If they come with me, great, if not, then they miss out and I don't let them in.  Today was no exception.

But it was raining.  And so all the students end up staying inside the building, and it just so happens that today we had some "support" from the district to help us manage the students.  As I'm walking back to my classroom with one of my students, the district person tells me that no students are allowed in the hallways without a pass. Uh... ok.  Yesterday we agreed on NO students in the hallway period, but forget it, whatever.  I go back to my classroom with the original student I brought with me, and we get to work.  Not 5 minutes later, I hear yelling in the hallway, feet pounding down the hallway as they go running past my room, and then some more yelling, and finally someone pounds on my door (My students always do this, and I HATE it, regardless of how many times I have them try it again.  They don't know how to knock lightly, they pound like their lives depend on it).

I open the door, and there's not one, but FOUR students outside my door.  Supposedly the district person wasn't letting anyone by without a pass, but here I have four standing in front of me.  So I suppose that she let them by for heaven knows what reason.  Remember, original school policy is that there are to be no students in the hallways...  I ask them what they want, and three of them say that they want to come in and work with me.  I tell them no for various reasons, mostly because I hadn't talked to them beforehand, and I was working with someone else.  The fourth student left her instrument in my classroom, so I let her grab it.  As I'm speaking with these students, the district person comes storming by my classroom, chasing after some other student, and says something about me letting students in my classroom without passes.  Ok.  The students in the hallway leave, and I'm back to working with my student in my classroom.

2 minutes pass.  I hear keys at my door and in steps our admin with the district person.  They go on to assault me about not following protocol, about having students in my classroom without passes, and that these rules don't hold up when the teachers of the school blatantly ignore them.  I stifled a laugh at this point, and humbly point out that the only student I have in my classroom at this time is the one student I brought back from the lunchroom with me.  I mention that I didn't let any of them in, except the one to grab her instrument she left in my classroom, and she left immediately afterward.  BAM!  NAILED ME!  That was my fatal mistake - I let the student into my classroom without a pass. They proceed to drive into me for the next few minutes - that this is exactly what they're talking about, and how I have complete disregard for the rules.  WHAT RULES?!?!  The rules change every 30 seconds at this place - I have no ideas what rules I'm following and which ones I'm breaking, because I have no clue what the actual rules are!

I can't stand this place.  It's a seething pile of inconsistent incompetency.  If I didn't love my students as much as I do, I would truly, truly hate working here.  But, my desire to see them succeed thankfully overwhelms my disdain for the rest of the crap I have to put up with, and makes working at my school tolerable.  But only just barely.

On the plus side, there were a few great things that have happened this week.  For starters, I had a substitute teacher hail me as her saving grace when I came in and assisted her classroom during my prep period yesterday.  As I left, she said "I can honestly say that you are the only math teacher in this school district that could be on TV."  Now that I think about that, I'm not sure what she meant by that, but I'm going to take it as something positive.

Also, I had a Conscious Classroom Management consultant tell me that "If you were teaching math at any other school, you'd be the best math teacher in the district."  That was flattering, but then it caused me to think... well, why would I have to be at another school?  Wouldn't I be the best teacher in the district, especially since I'm teaching at my school?  I highly doubt it.  Ultimately, I think it was a subtle way of saying that my classroom management skills need some work, and that's what's holding me back from really being awesome.  So, something to keep striving for.

And finally, the best thing that has happened, possibly this year, was one of my students came in to get some help after school today.  Last year, this young woman was a complete terror.  I loved the days when she didn't show up, because when she was there, life was awful.  This year, she has completely turned her game around.  Today she was telling me that last year she took her GPA from a 1.2 up to a 2.2, and this year has taken it all the way up to a 3.4!  I told her I've seen the difference in her attitude, in her participation, in her test scores, in everything.  I asked her what has caused this change, and she said "My dad."  3 legged stool anyone?

This is the reason why I'm in this job right now.  Forget the administration, forget the bureaucracy, forget the worthless professional developments and forget (gladly) all the crap that the district gives us.  It really all comes down to the students, and being able to make a difference in their lives.  I don't know where she'll be 5 years from now, but I am feeling much more confident in her future now than I would have at this same time last year.  She has limitless potential, and I'm glad to be a part of unlocking that.

She said she wished we had an art program at the school, and I agreed.  But in the mean time, I'm always glad to draw with her.  So when we finished math, we drew this on my smartboard - my first drawing in years...

It's a sunset, in case you can't tell.