Little Warriors

I had two students show up today to class, unable to stop talking about something that had apparently happened on the way to school.  However, the nonchalant attitude they had toward the subject matter made me think it was them just goofing around, and so I tried to squelch their chatter as quickly as possible.

They came in to class, and from the moment they set foot through the door, all they could talk about was a shooting they observed on their way to school.  But then they were laughing about it, joking, and goofing off as if nothing of a serious nature had truly happened.  So what am I to believe?  I mean, I take about 5% of what my kids say as truth - I hate to say it, but it's just not one of their strong points.  I felt that on the remote chance that what they were saying was true, they probably shouldn't be in my classroom at that point.  However, they were being so disruptive with their story as the entire class wanted to hear it, I couldn't get anyone to focus on what I was trying to do, so I wasn't sure where to go next.

I was somewhat relieved when I noticed neither one of them had on their uniforms.  If students don't have on uniforms when they show up to class, they're supposed to go straight to In School Suspension (ISS).  So I sent them to ISS, and figured that someone who wasn't trying to teach a class could determine whether there was truth to their story or not.

Turns out, there was.  There was a lot of talk today, from both the adult and the students, about a shooting that took place no further than 2 blocks from our school.  And in spite of the fact that two people were hospitalized, and possibly dead (they didn't release much details), none of my students seemed particularly fazed by it. 

This caused me to wonder, and worry on a number of accounts.  For one, has this type of event become such a common occurrence in their short lives that it's really not anything out of the ordinary?  People dying, getting shot at, hospitals and critical condition? Is this what normal life is like for them?  For another, those could have been my kids down there, being hauled down to the emergency room with a bullet in their chest. 

Yesterday I attended the funeral of one of my favorite student's mom. She was one of the few parents who was actively involved in her child's education.  It was really hard for me to be there, and I got choked up a few times.  Not that I was super close to the woman, but I looked to my student, sitting alone, looking little there on the front row, knowing that this little guy is now going to have to go the rest of his life without this monumental force for good in his life, the woman who drove him to and from school every day, who called me on a semi-daily basis to discuss her son's habits and progress in my class, with whom I collaborated as I brought her son along on special assignments.  And now she's gone.  What will happen to him now?  This for the parent ... I can only imagine had it been the student.

Another one of my students had her mother show up to school yesterday to pick up her and her little sister up.  However, the mom was so strung out on drugs that she was unable to drive her daughters home, and so she enlisted the support of a minor (13 years old) who "knew" how to drive, and she took them all home, and took the bus back to school.  My student wasn't in school today, but I hear that CPS were called.  I honestly can't even begin to fathom what she is going through right now, but my heart cries out in anguish.

My students are little warriors.  The battle that they wage on a daily basis is more than I feel I've had to take on in my entire life.  But they somehow find the strength to not only press forward, but thrive. At times I take in the gravity of the entire scope of situations that I've encountered during my time here at school, and I start to feel that trying to teach them power number properties seems somewhat trivial.

And I take a step back, and look at the bigger picture of what I'm trying to accomplish.  Sure, in the short run, power number properties won't amount to a lot. But it's the attitude of a scholar - not only am I trying to help them accumulate knowledge, but I'm pushing them to take command of their education. By so doing, I can only pray that it will afford them the tools to elevate their futures to a higher plane that isn't so needlessly afflicted with the pain, grieving and heartache as the world that they currently live in. Education for these guys amounts to so much more than what I have them write down on paper, but it's about teaching them that there's more to life than the street label.  It's how to be civil, to be proper, to be good citizens, to be courteous, to engender empathy for others, to show respect for people, property, and themselves.  It's letting them know that there are people out there who care for them regardless of anything else that's happening in their lives, in whom they can hopefully trust and depend on to see the best in them and push them to new heights.  

I don't know, maybe I'm just blowing smoke to make myself feel like I'm making a difference for these kids... but I do know one thing.  I love my students.